How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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