I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
