after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
