Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
