I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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