Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
