My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
