Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
