I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
