Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
