i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
