I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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