Please, let me fuck your mom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You may now shotgun with the bride
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
