i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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