Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
