after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
