smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
