Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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