She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
