Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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