I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's just so happy...and so naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
