remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All I want is dick and wine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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