I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
