I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
