Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
