trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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