Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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