remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
