Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
