PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
