Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
