Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize