4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
