You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
