Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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