Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
