i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
