i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
