But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
