i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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