She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
