Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize