Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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