he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
