If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
