haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
