I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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