How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
