sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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