Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
