i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
