well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
