It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
