I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
