The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
