Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
