Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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