I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she smelled like a LAN party
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
40s are totally the cure
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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